doc·u·ment [n. dok-yuh-muhnt; v. dok-yuh-ment]
Nicole. Female. 23. Bostonish. Slytherpuff. Taken.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. || Generalized Anxiety Disorder. || Severe Depressive Disorder. || Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder. || Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. || Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. || Ehlers Danlos Syndrome 3.

I'm here to document how I exist. I had no idea how helpful it would be, but it's like one big affirmation of YOU ARE NOT ALONE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND.

I'm doing the recovering thing to the best of my ability. It's not really my favorite ever, but it's better than not.

I'll be doing daily updates, I hope. What I've accomplished, no matter how small, and mood and pain tracking. Probably also knitting, writing, French, and fandom things. NaNo, on applicable months. Also recovery things, obviously.

This blog is inherently selfish. If you like what I'm doing and want to do it too, neat, but that's not the point. I fully encourage you to not/unfollow. On that note, I track the tag deathcabfornicole.

breathebreathebreathebreathebreatheifiwasgoingtodieitwouldhavehappenedalreadyitprobablywasntabeeanywayandimprobablynotallergicbreathebreathebreathebreathebreathe

Took shawl pictures outside since the sun is up and I kind of doubt that I’ll have my shit together before sunset I am a mess but I’m also going to sleep for reals now. Pictures to be uploaded when I wake up.

You’re so pretty! I like the scarf :) and your hair color is awesome.

Aaaa thank you!!

That made me so happy you have no idea :D

Waking up at 10.30am to the sound of hammers directly over my head and not being able to get back to sleep even with earplugs in the soundproof studio.

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Having my IOP program be canceled fourish hours before I was going because my insurance won’t cover it even though they take said insurance.

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Catching up with a friend in a fairly serious but really good way.

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Too exhausted to even remember the middle of my day aside from the nap I took just before dinner.

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Red Dragon though!! :D

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Talking with my beautiful, perfect girl.

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Videoing with Jaime in my shiny new room that’s so calmingly empty and happy.

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Trying Minecraft and deciding it’s not for me.

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really unpleasant binging episode that made me feel like shit

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FINISHING MY SHAWL

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Except it was at 5.30am so I was pretty tired and it was more like this:

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Taking one of my favorite pictures of myself ever.

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Going to bed after being up for twenty hours and fucking up my meds schedule (again) so I probably won’t be able to sleep (again). Ugh.

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And spending a full hour on a wrap-up post.

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BUT

Actually finishing the day talking to the beautiful, perfect girl again?

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Makes every day beautiful and perfect every time <3

ouroctobermap:

ruiningurtumblogs:

twilektimelord:

fororchestra:

ishouldbebritish:

adrianshhh:

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Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”

I feel like my life is complete after watching this.

HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.

Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.

HOW

Holy crap…

#magic   #like   #literal magic   #flute   #music  

ouroctobermap:

lohanthony:

immiqrant:

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS VIDEO

THIS MADE ME SMILE SO HARD AW

BAWWWWWW

I finished my shawl! Real pictures in the daylight. Also I should probably block it except it has a garter stitch edging so maybe I’ll be lazy and not. Definitely real pictures though!

So soft and cozy!! Stephen West + Pashmina = heaven. This is my third Stephen West shawl and my second in Pashmina and I have definite plans for another.

Also that’s a genuine laugh at Futurama. I don’t remember the last time I’ve liked a picture of myself so much.

fragilegifts:

Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is okay. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.

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